There are certain words that we use that are global.
Global words are blanket, covering all time, space and situations possible and they are incredibly powerful.
The power of global words is that they have an immediate effect on the subconscious mind and thus, affect our emotions and behavior for better and for worse.
There are two global words that have the biggest affect of all: Always and never.
What do you feel when you say the word ‘never’?
There is a sense of finality about it, isn’t there, the end of something that will never come again.
Depending on your situation, that can be a relief or a burden.
Now try the word ‘always’.
Again it can be celebration and security or a life sentence and constant burden.
These two words can be the biggest reason why you have trouble making changes to your life like switching to a healing diet or changing your sleep routine or getting fitter.
Let’s look at the psychology behind it.
You are in a situation that you don’t want to be in, living with a chronic disease, wanting to feel better and more like your “old self”.
So you start doing things differently, maybe giving up gluten or setting better boundaries to protect your energy, finding it a bit challenging but still, hopeful that you will end up where you want to be.
Until something happens.
You make a mistake or you eat the wrong thing.
You get criticized or upset.
Someone lets you down or disappoints your or something stressful happens.
And you think “I will never get better.”
or
“I will never get my life back”
or
“it will never be any different no matter how I try.“
or
“I am always going to be like this.”
Your subconscious mind which believes everything you think, especially the thoughts associated with strong emotional responses, believes you and anxiety, anger, depression or defiance kicks in.
So you binge after a diet slip up because you are never going to get better are you and you always regain the weight anyway.
You get rejected so you decide to punish yourself with more cigarettes and alcohol or other things that hurt you because this is what always happens to you and you will never be enough.
Global words like Never and Always tip you over the edge into defiance, depression, anxiety and powerlessness.
Then you blame yourself and the cycle of wanting to change and feel better, making a start and feeling like a miserable failure continues.
So do yourself a favour.
When you find yourself thinking statements containing always and never, challenge those thoughts.
Is what you are thinking or telling yourself really true?
Is what you are thinking and telling yourself absolutely true in all circumstances?
Challenge those global statements and refuse to believe them.
When you find yourself using global words, change them to something more realistic.
For example if you find yourself saying “I always feel this way” challenge that. Can you find a few things you enjoyed today or this week?
Doing practical things like keeping a symptom journal can help you actually see the changes you are going through or symptoms that you used to have that you don’t any more.
You will be able to create so many more positive changes and feel better doing it by focussing on the small steps you take towards feeling better and ignoring the slips, set backs and stresses.
Feeling stuck in your global statements and can’t escape them?
Come and talk to me.
I would love to help you change them.
Kerry Jeffery.
