Emotional Autoimmunity

Navigating the emotional side of autoimmune diseasese.

How to talk about chronic illness and get the best chance of support.

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If you have ever tried talking to your partner, friends or family about your chronic illness and why it’s changed you and what you can and can’t do now, then you know exactly how difficult and frustrating it can be.

People just don’t listen. People try to make you feel like you are constantly whinging or exaggerating the symptoms or using it as an excuse to not do things you don’t want to do.

When people don’t seem to want to listen or put you down for trying to get support and understanding, it can leave you thinking that there is no point talking about it at all.

So you give up and feel even more isolated and alone.

Then there is the other side of the conversation: What do you say when you are the partner or friend or family member of someone who has chronic illness?

How can you offer them support and empathy and a safe space to vent when you just don’t even know what to do or say to help them?

There is a way to talk about your chronic illness that will give you the best possible chance of being heard and understood AND there is a way to listen and help someone living with chronic illness in a way that will make you feel that you are actually helping and comforting them.

It’s all here in this video.

Step by step, I will walk you through the process, break down the skills and give you the best tips I know to clearly communicate how you feel and to be able to listen without feeling the pressure to “solve the problem.”

If you have any questions after watching the video, head on over to my Facebook page: Emotional Autoimmunity and send me a message.

Once you have the right strategies, you can feel more supported, understood and connected that you believed possible.

best wishes

Kerry

 

What you can do about those toxic people in your life.

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Do you have toxic people in your life?

Then you are not alone.

Toxic people are difficult enough to deal with for everyone but when you add having chronic illness into the mix, it takes it to a whole  new level!

Why?

Because getting chronic illness means that you have less energy, less resilience and if you have adrenal issues like me, less of the “fight or flight” hormone cortisol, to deal with all of the stress that toxic people bring with them.

Below is a live Facebook broadcast that I held last Saturday June 2nd and during this video I cover the following points:

  • How toxic people affect you.
  • Why it’s worse with chronic illness.
  • The sorts of behaviours that toxic people display.
  • The different types of abuse you can experience from toxic people.
  • The hierarchy of toxic people you may experience, from least to most difficult and why.
  • The strategies you can use to help yourself.

I also answer a few questions at the end from viewers who joined me live.

If you have toxic people in your life, this video will give you some insights, strategies and tools to use to help you help yourself.

I hope it helps you.

 

Do you have toxic people in your life?

Then you know just how much stress, pain and damage they can do to your life and health.

I’m sharing everything I know about toxic people with you, including simple steps you can learn and use to help you eliminate the guilt and manipulation.

If you have toxic people in your life, you need to watch this.

Posted by Emotional Autoimmunity on Friday, June 1, 2018

Are you really being a “whiny baby”?

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Are you really being a whiny baby?

We were having a very interesting discussion in my Emotional Autoimmunity Recovery Support group on Facebook today and it really struck a chord with a whole lot of people.

( P.S.The group is for a safe space for anyone living with chronic illness who wants to talk about all of the emotional challenges it brings.

You can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/earec/ )

When it comes to talking about what is bothering you or making you feel sad or frustrated or hopeless, so many people don’t share for fear of being seen as “a whiny baby.”

A complainer.

A whinger. 

A victim. 

What is even worse is that so many people have actually been told that they are being “whiny babies” or “acting like victims” or “always complaining.”

Which means that so many people don’t seek support or validation or understanding from those close to them, for fear of being judged or labeled. 

Which is also why it is professionals like myself, who are very often the first to hear and really validate all of the things that you may have been struggling with for years, if not decades. 

But there are other barriers to sharing how you feel that also get in the way.

Let’s go through them one by one:

Continue Reading

Three things you can do right now to reduce your anxiety

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If you have anxiety, then you know how all pervasive it can be.

From a low level background hum to churning in the pit of the stomach, shaky hands and full on panic attacks, you can experience anxiety in many different ways.
Generally, when people talk about reducing anxiety, they suggest things like meditating.
I don’t know about you, but trying to meditate actually makes me more anxious and I have tried lots of different meditation techniques over the years and none of them have helped me.
Which is why I want to share these three, easy things that you can do right now that will immediately start reducing your stress levels and easing your anxiety.

Step 1: Delete and unsubscribe.

How do you feel when you open up your email inbox each day?
Are you seeing a lean, tidy and organised space or are you overwhelmed with hundreds of unread emails, from the actually important ones to the things you subscribed to but never make the time to actually read?
Being faced with email overwhelm every time you log into your inbox is stressful and anxiety producing and it is a very easy fix.
By deleting and unsubscribing from unnecessary emails you will be saving yourself from a whole lot of unconscious stress, overwhelm and anxiety.

Be ruthless. If you are not actually going to read them or you do not need the information, delete and unsubscribe.

It is time well invested because the next time you log in to your email, you will immediately feel much less stress and anxiety. It also makes it easier to keep “pruning” your inbox as new emails come in, that you no longer want to receive or read. 

Step 2: Manage your Social Media.

Are there people that you follow on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter that create resentment, frustration or feeling less than stellar about yourself?

Are you overwhelmed with notifications from Facebook groups and pages and friends? If so, then any time you open social media, you are exposing yourself to more subliminal stress which raises anxiety levels.

Spend some time managing your social media by noticing how you feel. Unfollow pages or people, remove yourself from groups that are not giving value or creating drama. 

Unfriend people who are toxic or negative or needy. Lighten your stress level load so that you no longer feel overwhelmed, by managing your social media in a way that best suits you. This will reduce a huge load of unconscious stress that will really ease your anxiety.

Step 3: Manage your viewing habits. 

One of the biggest causes of stress and anxiety is right there on your television screen every night at 6pm or on a dedicated channel where you can view it every moment of the day.
Your friendly, neighbourhood news program.
Watching the news is a cause of a whole lot of unconscious stress and anxiety because it is showing you events like war, famine, accidents, death, illness, political issues and a whole lot of other distressing, anxiety provoking events that you have no control over.
Much of the news is either distressing, upsetting, frustrating or fear producing which raises the bodies chemical fight or flight response, increasing stress and anxiety.
I stopped watching the news well over 8 years ago and it really made a huge difference to my life and stress levels. I can still find out what I need to know, and it has added greatly to my peace of mind.

Different situations in your life can also change how your body reacts to certain programs. For example, when I developed chronic illness and the adrenal fatigue that went with it, I found that I could no longer tolerate shows that I used to watch.

Prior to Hashimoto’s, I was a big fan of “The Walking Dead” and was looking forward to the new season. When I started watching though, I just couldn’t handle it. The fear factor and adrenaline reactions were so unpleasant and debilitating that I had to stop watching.

I find now that my viewing habits are very different. I like entertaining or uplifting shows, am very much enjoying watching re-runs of shows on Netflix that I loved from the past (Hello Star Trek all series and seasons) and I am a very conscious consumer of what I view.
Take the time to notice how what you are viewing is affecting your mind, body and stress levels and make some changes.

It is well worth the small amount of time invested!

Taking these 3 simple steps will greatly reduce your overall stress and anxiety levels and highlight where your true stress may be coming from. 

If you are like most people, then it’s due to past trauma, toxic or difficult relationships, faulty thinking patterns or worrying to much about what people think of you.

If you are struggling with stress, problems in your relationship, feeling unsupported or misunderstood, anxious, overwhelmed or stuck then you don’t have to do it alone!

Book your FREE 20 minute Discovery Session with me now, anywhere in the world!

Because its absolutely certain that your life will be so much better without all that stress and anxiety!
Here is what one of my clients has to say about working with me.
“It has been an absolute blessing for me to have you as a therapist. You have lived up to your promises from our first evaluation session, and I feel that you have contributed to making not only my life, but my wife’s life as well, to be much better and well equipped to face challenges up ahead.
I’m forever thankful.” Will. 
Kerry Jeffery